Society = MMORPG

This post will be one giant metaphor.  You were warned.


I have come to the realization that society has become an MMORPG, a game with no ending that is impossible to "win".  No matter what you do, how much you collect/accomplish, there will always be more.  Finding happiness in life is being able to leave quests unfinished.  Whether you solo your way to 80 (years old) or you combine forces to raid the high level boss task and gain fame and fortune, you will never have everything.  It's just not possible.

Being under the burden of adulthood is killing me.  To me, being an adult is synonymous with a 9-5 job, mortgage payments, being functional in the A.M., living through your kids, 401Ks, talking politics, and cutting ties with anything that gets in the way of those tasks.  That sounds like hell.  I never want to end up like th....wait.....I just described me.  I am the mid-level off-tank who sacrifices dreams of DPS and loot to carve out his own support role for his guild-mates.


Here's what I'm trying to say:  Most humans have entirely too much stuff.  Some of that stuff may be physical, some intangible.  Keeping your vault and quest log full at all times does nothing but clog up your life and hinder you from seeing the beauty around you.

Before a few days ago, I could not have told you the last time I mono-tasked.  THAT is what was killing me.  Not the mortgage, or the kids, or the 9-5 job, or financial stress.  It was the ever-present feeling that I was missing something.  If I'm watching TV then I'm wasting time where I could be reading.  If I'm on Facebook then I'm missing a great conversation on Twitter.  How can I read all the comics and novels I want to read when new ones come out all the time?

This never-ending cacophony of white noise in my head was the root of all my problems.  My son wants me to get him some more orange juice.  But to do that I would have to stop reading before I'm done with this chapter.  And if I do that then I it will put me 14 seconds behind on my quest to read everything by this author.  And what if someone brings up the next chapter at work tomorrow?  I won't know what the monster said to the protagonist because my son wanted some freaking orange juice!

Put some things aside.  Remove some quests from your log.  You can always go back to the quest-giver and start again.  Sell, or give away, those 14 broken dwarf axes in your vault.  You're never going to need them for anything.  Minimize your chat window and take a walk through the starting area for your character's race.  Look at all the amazing artwork that took someone countless hours to create.  You missed all of it.  All you saw was a waypoint to the next quest hub.  What you missed were the seven trees arranged in a semi-circle meant to signify the burial plot and memorial for a great warrior that time forgot.

Okay, the metaphor has served it's purpose.


What makes humans different from other animals?

Self-control?  You're kidding right?
Superior intellect?  see: Jersey Shore
Compassion?  Maybe you misunderstood me.  I said HUMANS.


I only see two things that humans excel at more than any other earthly creature: Creating/experiencing art and having opposable thumbs.  Music, film, novels, comic books, dance.  These are what defines humanity.  Unlocking the achievement of "Read All Asimov Novels" shouldn't be the goal.  Unlocking the enjoyment of experiencing, analyzing, discussing, emulating, evolving, and sharing Asimov's art should be the achievement.

SO...To hell with titles, SUVs, McMansions, and $80 t-shirts.  I'm looking forward to a life filled with imaginary creatures and mono-tasking.

Andy Boot Camp Update 06/10/11

I'm still chugging toward a weight-loss goal that is seeming nigh impossible at this point.  As I speak (type?), I am 80 pounds from my goal.  To meet my goal that would be an average of 13+ pounds per month.  Assuming that my goal in this whole endeavor is to become healthier I think cutting that much weight per month might be just as unhealthy as being a walking behemoth.  Alas, I shall stumble forth on my quest for purchasing my garments at a fine retail establishment, rather than a catalog for shapely individuals.

Here's the latest weigh in numbers:


04/11/11          309.6 (Small improvement from the last weigh-in)
04/13/11          311.8 (Rapid-fire weigh-in FTL)
04/17/11          309.4 (Then again, more numbers means more chances for success?)
04/30/11          309.0 (At this rate, I'll hit 300 sometime during Sasha Obama's 3rd term)
05/18/11          310.8 (Three weeks later....)
05/25/11          306.2 (Shit got real. This is my true beginning) (#existentialism)
05/29/11          305.4 (NUMBER GO DOWN!!) (The Hulk wrote that synopsis)
05/31/11          303.0 (FAT BAD!!!!) (Tarzan this time) (R.I.P. Phil Hartman)
06/06/11          302.6 (Still headed in the right direction)
06/08/11          301.8 (At this point, I really need to think of a name for myself after 300)


That's it.  I'll check back in after a few more weeks after I inexplicably reverse course and start my journey toward the Fattest Man Alive crown.