Monday, July 23, 2012

Unemployment Fiasco Update

So, I finally got through to the Tennessee Unemployment Office a few weeks ago.  After 130+ calls to numerous phone numbers, unhelpful automated messages, indifferent/condescending attitudes from people at local offices, and a hint that I might be going insane I finally got the number to ring.  So then I sat on hold for almost an hour and half before a human came on the line.

I'm not complaining about sitting on hold.  I understand the entire operation is....bungled (I'm trying not to fly into a tirade).  But my question is: If people have to sit on hold for over an hour after getting the line to ring why aren't they allowed to sit on hold from the start?  Why make people call and call and call while giving them an automatic recording if they're going to be on hold once they get through anyway?  Wouldn't the simpler, and less discouraging, way be to do away with the automated message, allow callers to be placed on hold immediately, and inform them that it could be a very, very long wait?  At least the caller would know they are in line and moving, however slowly it might be, toward progress.

The current system of having one number to call seems to be causing a bottleneck.  And this bottleneck is causing all kinds of tangible and intangible effects on unemployed Tennesseans.  I felt extreme depression and disillusionment while unemployed.  Having already been told I wasn't wanted/needed anymore I was then forced to acknowledge I could not provide for my family alone and needed to seek help.  Help that I had been contributing to with taxes I had been paying for many years.  And then to be met with a metaphorical brick wall was discouraging, to say the least.

This morning I received two messages, one as a comment to my previous blog post, one as a direct email from a reader, that mentioned depression about their situation, fear at their future prospects, and even suicide.  To herd already downtrodden people to one over-crowded, apparently under-staffed feed trough appears misguided and ultimately harmful.  When people are in a fragile financial and mental state the last thing they need is a seemingly impossible gauntlet just to feed themselves.

My story turned out okay.  I finally got through, found a job after four months, and should be starting this week.  But I can't take credit for it all.  I still attribute my success with the Tennessee Unemployment Office to luck.  I feel like if my call had been a few seconds earlier or later then I would have received the same unhelpful message and one more metaphorical kick in the gut.  Keeping my spirits above the disaster mark was 95% friends and family.  Finding a job turned out to be a lucky opening at a company where a close friend worked which was enough to get me in the door.  The only part I can take credit for is the actual interview process.

But what about the people who don't have any emergency fund?  The ones living paycheck to paycheck, who could be out of food, shelter, and options within a matter of weeks if they were laid off?  What about people with no family to lean on, whether it be merely because of distance or because of some past family drama?  What about the people with a high school education who have worked at the same job for 20 years who are suddenly thrust into a situation where they have to start over?  These people need assistance and they can't afford to wait for it.

It's not difficult to see how someone in one of these situations would see suicide as an option, even briefly.  When it seems like you have nowhere else to turn, when it seems like you're being ignored by the very people who are supposed to help you, life can seem unbearable.


If you are in this situation please listen to me: You are not alone.  No matter how hopeless your situation may seem it is never beyond recovery.  No matter how many people treat you with indifference or animosity there are many more willing to help.  

- National Suicide Prevention Hotline 1-800-273-8255
- Here is a link to many, many different agencies and programs who provide all kinds of assistance for unemployed Americans.

Use these resources.  If you need additional assistance, or you just need to talk to someone, my contact email is listed in the right-hand column.  Or you can leave a comment and other readers can help.

Don't give up.  Don't ever give up.

Wednesday, July 11, 2012

No Man's Land

I have no idea what I'm doing with my life.  I wake up every day with no idea what I'm doing.  I don't feel like an adult, even though I pretend to be one every day.  I don't want to spend the next 40 years in a cubicle and I'm not ready to give up on my dreams.  But I have a mortgage and two kids.  I clearly am an adult.  I'm living in no man's land.  I have the hopes and dreams of a college kid with all the drama and responsibilities of a full-fledged adult.

So what does that mean?  Does that mean that I'm just being a selfish, whiny bitch by not wanting to join the normal workforce?  I look at our income, with the small amount of unemployment that I'm getting, and say "If we're paying the bills and we're not starving then why do I feel like I have to make more money than that?"  But that falls apart when you consider we don't have health insurance, or savings for my kids' college, or more than six month's worth of retirement, or a second car to actually drive to work and not leave my wife without transportation.  When I factor in all those things I ask myself how we were even paying the bills when I had a job.

I don't want to put on my monkey suit and corporate smile five days a week while I count the hours until I can go home, see my family for a couple of hours, try to sleep, and do it all over again.  But I don't want to be the 40 year old asking if you have any coupons for your purchase either.

I have no idea who the hell I am or what I want to be when I grow up. 

Some days I think I'm insane.  Some days I think I'm just depressed.  But most days I'm afraid.  I'm afraid that I looked too closely at the mindless monotony of corporate America, saw what a clusterfuck it was, and decided I wanted no part of it.  But I have no back-up plan.  No brilliant idea to keep me out of the grind.

My previous post talked about my desire to open my own business, do things my way, and take full control of my life.  I have since been informed, by many people, that I'm an idiot who should probably just give up and punch a button every day while someone else decides my fate. 

And I don't know who's right.