Society = MMORPG

This post will be one giant metaphor.  You were warned.


I have come to the realization that society has become an MMORPG, a game with no ending that is impossible to "win".  No matter what you do, how much you collect/accomplish, there will always be more.  Finding happiness in life is being able to leave quests unfinished.  Whether you solo your way to 80 (years old) or you combine forces to raid the high level boss task and gain fame and fortune, you will never have everything.  It's just not possible.

Being under the burden of adulthood is killing me.  To me, being an adult is synonymous with a 9-5 job, mortgage payments, being functional in the A.M., living through your kids, 401Ks, talking politics, and cutting ties with anything that gets in the way of those tasks.  That sounds like hell.  I never want to end up like th....wait.....I just described me.  I am the mid-level off-tank who sacrifices dreams of DPS and loot to carve out his own support role for his guild-mates.


Here's what I'm trying to say:  Most humans have entirely too much stuff.  Some of that stuff may be physical, some intangible.  Keeping your vault and quest log full at all times does nothing but clog up your life and hinder you from seeing the beauty around you.

Before a few days ago, I could not have told you the last time I mono-tasked.  THAT is what was killing me.  Not the mortgage, or the kids, or the 9-5 job, or financial stress.  It was the ever-present feeling that I was missing something.  If I'm watching TV then I'm wasting time where I could be reading.  If I'm on Facebook then I'm missing a great conversation on Twitter.  How can I read all the comics and novels I want to read when new ones come out all the time?

This never-ending cacophony of white noise in my head was the root of all my problems.  My son wants me to get him some more orange juice.  But to do that I would have to stop reading before I'm done with this chapter.  And if I do that then I it will put me 14 seconds behind on my quest to read everything by this author.  And what if someone brings up the next chapter at work tomorrow?  I won't know what the monster said to the protagonist because my son wanted some freaking orange juice!

Put some things aside.  Remove some quests from your log.  You can always go back to the quest-giver and start again.  Sell, or give away, those 14 broken dwarf axes in your vault.  You're never going to need them for anything.  Minimize your chat window and take a walk through the starting area for your character's race.  Look at all the amazing artwork that took someone countless hours to create.  You missed all of it.  All you saw was a waypoint to the next quest hub.  What you missed were the seven trees arranged in a semi-circle meant to signify the burial plot and memorial for a great warrior that time forgot.

Okay, the metaphor has served it's purpose.


What makes humans different from other animals?

Self-control?  You're kidding right?
Superior intellect?  see: Jersey Shore
Compassion?  Maybe you misunderstood me.  I said HUMANS.


I only see two things that humans excel at more than any other earthly creature: Creating/experiencing art and having opposable thumbs.  Music, film, novels, comic books, dance.  These are what defines humanity.  Unlocking the achievement of "Read All Asimov Novels" shouldn't be the goal.  Unlocking the enjoyment of experiencing, analyzing, discussing, emulating, evolving, and sharing Asimov's art should be the achievement.

SO...To hell with titles, SUVs, McMansions, and $80 t-shirts.  I'm looking forward to a life filled with imaginary creatures and mono-tasking.

Andy Boot Camp Update 06/10/11

I'm still chugging toward a weight-loss goal that is seeming nigh impossible at this point.  As I speak (type?), I am 80 pounds from my goal.  To meet my goal that would be an average of 13+ pounds per month.  Assuming that my goal in this whole endeavor is to become healthier I think cutting that much weight per month might be just as unhealthy as being a walking behemoth.  Alas, I shall stumble forth on my quest for purchasing my garments at a fine retail establishment, rather than a catalog for shapely individuals.

Here's the latest weigh in numbers:


04/11/11          309.6 (Small improvement from the last weigh-in)
04/13/11          311.8 (Rapid-fire weigh-in FTL)
04/17/11          309.4 (Then again, more numbers means more chances for success?)
04/30/11          309.0 (At this rate, I'll hit 300 sometime during Sasha Obama's 3rd term)
05/18/11          310.8 (Three weeks later....)
05/25/11          306.2 (Shit got real. This is my true beginning) (#existentialism)
05/29/11          305.4 (NUMBER GO DOWN!!) (The Hulk wrote that synopsis)
05/31/11          303.0 (FAT BAD!!!!) (Tarzan this time) (R.I.P. Phil Hartman)
06/06/11          302.6 (Still headed in the right direction)
06/08/11          301.8 (At this point, I really need to think of a name for myself after 300)


That's it.  I'll check back in after a few more weeks after I inexplicably reverse course and start my journey toward the Fattest Man Alive crown.

Filesharing Rant 3.0

I try to see the artists' plight when they go on misinformed rants about how illegal downloading is destroying the music industry but I'm starting to see new reasons why they're wrong.

First, the claim that illegal downloading is hurting the music industry is false.  It may be hurting overall ALBUM sales but it's definitely not hurting the industry.  Buying a $.99 single on iTunes just doesn't provide the same income as an entire $12 album with 8 filler songs.  I would argue that legal sales of digital singles have done FAR more to hurt album sales than pirating ever will.  The people buying $.99 singles are the same ones who used to buy $12 albums.  The people downloading albums now are the same ones who used to copy their friends' cassettes.  And, as I've stated before, illegally downloading an album can, and does, lead to new ticket buyers, t-shirt purchasers, and, yes, even future single/album buyers.

Second, the music industry was built on impossibly inflated prices and unsustainable excess.  The old model of "release an album > sell millions(?) of copies > stop producing anything and live off the profits for years and years" sounds a little silly when you try to apply it to other professions.  I can't set-up and mail-out 20 computers in a week and then say "You know what?  I had a pretty good week.  I think I'll not come into work for a few months.  Just keep sending the royalty checks for my groundbreaking work to my home address."  That's ridiculous.

Artists should get paid for their work.  But don't expect us to make you a millionaire because you bought a thesaurus and auto-tune.  From my perspective, as a non-millionaire/aspiring professional musician, I would think that touring should make up the majority of profit for a band.

Also, let's talk about the lawsuits.

I'm going to start by saying that the RIAA is one small step away from the mafia.  They will attack 12-year-old girls and repeatedly wrongly accuse others.  They have a history of "sue first, then find actual evidence".  And now it seems that even when they win a judgement against known infringers they will be keeping the settlement money rather than sharing it with the artists they supposedly represent.

It is unfortunate that great new artists may be cut early, or not signed at all, because of lackluster album sales. But here's to hoping this will lead to a new breed of artists utilizing the very digital structure that took down the media conglomerates to start a "creation > self-distibution > self-promotion > profit" model for success.  And then maybe we can cut out the money-grubbing, exploitative loan sharks and pimps that permeate throughout the music industry.

Osama bin Laden

I don't really know how to feel about the news that Osama bin Laden is dead.  On one hand I am relieved that the search is over and organized terrorism (there's an oxymoron) might have been dealt a setback.  But on the other hand, I find it absolutely disgusting that people are joyously celebrating the death of Osama Bin Laden.  Not because of who he was.  Osama was a worthless piece of shit and deserved to die.  I just think that celebrating his death in the streets with snare drums and beach balls is appalling.  Killing one human being does not magically bring others back to life.  Killing Osama will not take away the pain that the families of 9/11 victims still feel everyday.


You just don't understand.  We brought him to justice.


Justice?  Killing a 50+ year-old man with diabetes living in caves and constantly moving around to stay hidden is just punishment for that man organizing the murder of thousands of innocent humans?

Osama was evil.  He deserved to die.  But public celebrations of his death do nothing but make us look like petty, ignorant fools.  The "You kill us and we'll kill you back" mentality.  Osama didn't invent terrorism and killing him won't stop it.

You don't see ANY reason to celebrate?


I am quite happy that an evil person can no longer do evil things.  I just don't see the sense in acting like this makes everything better.  Nothing has changed.  Evil people will still do evil things and the rest of the world will either rise against them or crumble.

You're just a cynic trying to see the worst in everything.


Maybe.  I've thought that myself at times.  I'm not saying that peaceful people everywhere shouldn't be glad about this news.  Americans, Afghans, Christians, Muslims, and anyone else who hates violence as much as Osama himself hated America should all rejoice that one less evil person is among us.  But that's it.  ONE person.  A very important person in the world of terror, but one man just the same.


I just can't understand celebrating the death of a human being, no matter who that person might be.


Maybe I'm wrong.  I don't know anymore.

Nerd Culture

I refer to myself as a nerd quite frequently (exhibit #1: the header above). I get a wide range of responses to my proclamation.

Some people go with "Noooo! I don't think so!" which means one of two things. 1) They've never met me or 2) They put a negative connotation on the word "nerd".

The most common response is nervous laughter while they try to ascertain how I feel about my own label.

But the response that spurred this post is the admonishing "Don't say that!" Somehow, in the current heyday of geek chic, being labeled a nerd is still seen as an unfortunate occurrence.

I have no qualms about calling myself a nerd.  I wear it as a badge of honor.  I care about something(s) enough to be considered a nerd.

But then I really blow people's minds with the sheer diversity of my nerdscape.

Comics, Sci-Fi (not SyFy), computers, fantasy books, Star Trek/Gate/Wars, documentaries, music deconstruction, baseball stats, genre TV shows, gadgets, math......

Wait just a second my opinionated opiner, I like some of those things but I'm not a....nerd.


And here's where the conundrum comes in.  Given the current accepted definition of "nerd", everyone is a nerd about something.

Patton Oswalt may have written the best rant ever on this subject.  He points out that the internet gives us instantaneous access to a wealth of information that would have taken basement dwellers of old years to compile.

Why argue about how many episodes of Star Trek TOS had Kirk hooking up with a pastel-colored lady when all it takes is a quick Wikipedia search?  You want to own life-sized replicas of Ian Holm circa Alien AND Fellowship of the Ring?  Look no further than Ebay/Craigslist.  You might just find some herpes while you're there.

So, my dear reader(s), I say embrace your emerging nerdiness.  Accept your irrational obsessions.  And don't be afraid to read that Farscape/Care Bears crossover fanfic just because Karen in HR would think you're weird.