Friday, October 29, 2010

Let's Get Srsly Srs

The other day I was talking to my wife about the phantom tax cut that the Obama administration passed earlier this year.  This article from the NY Times talks about how most people didn't even realize it happened.

I made a comment to my wife that I was concerned about my annual tax liability staying the same when the amount allotted from each paycheck was less.  She asked for a little clarification of what I meant and this spewed forth:



The taxes being taken out of my paychecks are very similar to our property tax being rolled into the escrow with our mortgage.  We pay a little extra every month so it builds up to what we have to pay for yearly taxes.  Then when the taxes come due, the money is already there and we don't have to pay any more.  
The amount of taxes I owe at the end of the year is based on how much I make.  I have a certain amount taken out of each paycheck to go toward that amount.  This is basically how the tax refund works.  I give the government money from every paycheck to count toward my yearly tax liability.  At the end of the year if I've given them too much then they give me back the difference.  But, if I've given them too little then I have to pay the difference. 

Here's where my question comes in.  If the amount of taxes that I owe stays the same, and my exemptions/the government is taking less from each of my paychecks, then I will have a smaller refund or I might owe at the end of the year....unless they have made some adjustment to my overall tax liability.  I assume they would be blowing themselves on national television if they had done that so I don't thinks it's happened.  
This could mean that millions of Americans who have been claiming the same exemptions on their paychecks for years could have a dramatically different amount that they owe the government this year. 
It's just like the original version of the new homebuyer's credit.  Under the version that we [my wife and I] took advantage of, the credit is a one time gift from Uncle Sam thanking us for stimulating the economy by buying a house.  Under the version from the year before (the way I understand), it was basically an $8000 loan.  They were getting an $8000 advance on their next years' taxes.  Meaning, those people have to pay that $8000 back the next year (that year being this one).  
SO!!!  When tax time comes around next year we will have millions of homeowners (whether they're victims of a foreclosure or not) who now owe $8000 more than usual due to the original homebuyer's credit/loan.  AND you combine that with every working American not having as much money built up toward their yearly tax liability because of the hidden tax break.  This could make for a very bad combination.  Throw in outside factors such as the terrible housing market, the equally terrible job market, the ever-declining value of the dollar, and the "war" in Afghanistan, and you get a potential catastrophe.  

Okay...I got a little dramatic.  But you can see where I'm going.  Tax credits are great as long as they're real.  Don't have them be a hidden loan or something that could blindside us at tax time.

Sorry to get into something so serious.  Election season has me steering away from normal Apollo 13 references and more toward political issues.

Friday, October 15, 2010

Heroes and Villains

Indulging my paradox thinking last week brought me to the realization that nearly everything around us is a paradox.  

Plastic

It makes horrible knock-off toys from Hong Kong and it saves lives through pacemakers.

Porcelain

Craptacular babies with angel's wings for which your grandmother pays $400 and also toilets.

Paper

Gives you access to knowledge of the ages and gives your bird something to poo on.

Human Beings

Humans bring joy, pain, camaraderie, alienation, euphoria, torment, life, death.  We are cruel and forgiving simultaneously.  We want people to accept our differences and ostracize others'.



As terrible as it sounds, this type of thinking made me feel better.  There will always be some walking douche thriving on chaos and mayhem.  But knowing that life itself is a paradox means that there will always be someone who is the antithesis of said douche who rides in and fights back.

(Caution - Nerd Overload Approaching...)

Every Sauraman has a Gandalf.  Every Emperor has a Luke.  Every Alien has a Ripley. Every Biff has a Marty McFly.  Every Cobra Kai has a Ralph Macchio.  Every Kahn has a Kirk.  

They don't always look like wizards or Jedi but the heroes will fight oppression and hatred until the very end.


I don't think most people, myself included, are cut out to be traditional heroes.  We have our moments when we pull children from burning buildings and lift cars off of loved ones.  But for most of us our heroism peaks at finding the last blue ultra-mega-robot-man-thing in town for our kid's Christmas present.  Or volunteering our time/money to help less fortunate people in our town.

But looking at life as an amalgamation of paradoxes, heroes, and schmoes means that simple actions by regular people are some of the most important and heroic acts possible.

Every Frodo has a Sam.  Every Han has a Chewy.  Every Indiana has a Short Round. Every Kirk has a Spock.  Every Arthur Dent has a Marvin.

While the heroes are saving the day, the regular Joes find ways to make just as much impact on the world around them.  And without those sidekicks and regular guys, the world wouldn't be worth saving anyway.

(Also, if you understood all of the nerdy references above then we seriously need to be friends, like, now.)


Friday, October 8, 2010

The Paradox Parade

Do you ever have a day when you want to move to rural Montana and abandon anything that involves a battery or a power cord?

Do you follow up the next morning by blogging about a new gadget that's auto-posted to your Twitter feed and then blasted from there to your Facebook page?

I do.  All the time.  And I've probably said these same things a thousand times.

Welcome to my Paradox Parade.

I'm the guy who wants to have tons of friends but never wants to go out in public.  I'm the guy who can get up on a stage and scream and act like an idiot but I feel uncomfortable initiating a conversation.  Better yet, put me on stage in front of 150+ strangers and I eat it up.  I bathe in the attention and adoration of the audience and want everyone's eyes on me.  But put me on stage in front of 15 people and I become an awkward kid covering a Coldplay song during lunch break in the band room, too afraid to actually sing.  (high school...good times?)

So I can't blame people for not understanding me because oftentimes I thoroughly confuse myself.  I go through fazes of obsession.  My current obsession, to my wife's chagrin, is baseball.  A few weeks ago it was the Deadliest Catch.  Before that is was video games then comic books (love them, but too expensive for right now), computers, Buffy the Vampire Slayer (What?!  I missed it when it originally aired), LOTRO (which has since been bastardized as a free-to-play shell of it's former greatness), etc.

My tastes change.  And when they do they're sudden and all-encompassing.

Looking back, I guess I've always been this way.

(The first time I can remember noticing this trait was several years ago after my mother and I got a large TV and HD movie stations (not paid cable such as HBO, we weren't THAT fancy).  I was flipping through the channels and found a movie I'd never seen before, Stargate.  I watched it, loved it, and wanted to know more about it.  The Internet heeded my query and told me there was a spin-off series staring TV's Richard Dean Anderson (MacGyver).  In my mind it was obvious that I should immediately go purchase all eight seasons on DVD and watch them within a matter of weeks.  You know, normal everyday obsession style.)

My point:  Everyone is a paradox.  It's the interactions between the contradicting emotions and longings that make up our personalities.  And when those desires change and mature our persona changes.

Embrace who you are.  Own who you are.  If one day you find that you don't like who you've become, make a change.  You're the only one who can.

[Queue rainbow and Tony Robbins smile]

Friday, October 1, 2010

A Midsummer Night's Malaise

Work is wearing on me.  But it's not the "work" that is driving me insane.  It's the people.

I'm not sure how some of these people dress themselves.  Let me run through some fun facts for you:

-Not being able to type quickly is a computer issue.  Not being able to find the letters at all is not.
-Not understanding where to type your name is a computer issue.  Not knowing how to spell your name is not.
-Not understanding how to change from lowercase letters to capital letters is a computer issue.  Not understanding the difference between them when they're printed on a page in front of you is not.

Also, when did "auwruh" become a letter?  Apparently it comes right after Q now.

Don't get me wrong, I love the physical part of my job.  I love fixing computers and playing with new hardware/software.  I get geeked when a new piece of software comes out and it's my job to play with it and see how it works.  And I love working with an overwhelming majority of the people at my company.  But some of the people that I have to deal with make me question whether it's worth it.

Notice how I said some of the people.  I don't dislike people who know nothing about computers.  In fact, these are my favorites.  Give me a 50 year old man who's never touched a computer any day over a guy who skims Lifehacker once a month and thinks he knows everything about computers.  I have issues with the people who either refuse to listen or are entrenched in what I call Willful Ignorance.  And this adherence to their ignorance has nothing to do directly with computers.

I get it though.  Nobody wants to call me.  I'm PC Support.  I'm the Helpdesk.  No one calls these people by choice.  Has any tech ever gotten a phone call saying "Everything is working great here.  Keep up the good work."  Of course not.  It's the same reason why I don't call my cable company to say the same thing.  That's our job.  Make things work and fix them when they don't.

But for anyone who's ever been on the other side of the phone when someone calls for help they know exactly what I mean.  Every time you talk to someone is invariably one of the worst parts of their day.  And as long as they can hang up feeling better than when they first called then I feel like I've done my job.  Even if the problem is not something that can be immediately solved, the person should leave the conversation confident that it will be resolved.

And once I'm no longer concerned with this positive outcome then I'll know the malaise has won.

But until that day I will remain the honest, friendly, helpful nerd who helps you fix your internet connection so you can tell your Facebook friends how lame I am.