Wednesday, May 16, 2012

Dear Tennessee Unemployment Office

Dear Tennessee Unemployment Office,

     I have humbled myself enough so I can acknowledge that I need your assistance.  It was very difficult for me to make this decision.  I originally filed the paperwork on April 2nd but I just tried to do my first weekly check-in on May 14th.  I received paperwork from you the week after my initial contact informing me that I am eligible for unemployment benefits.

From that time until now I have struggled with the decision to partake in unemployment benefits.  But two months after my lay-off I am beginning to see the distinct lack of jobs for my skill and experience range.  Entry level jobs do not pay enough and administration and management jobs are out of my experience range.  Although, one would ask, how can I get experience as an administrator or IT manager when every job listing for those positions requires extensive previous experience?  It seems a paradox (which is quite fitting for my blog but quite unhelpful in feeding my children).

But the hiring practices of various IT departments are not your concern.  I was unable to login to the online weekly check-in site and was directed to call a phone number.  If I decipher the wording in your help documents correctly, it seems that the PIN for online access needs to be setup either the first time I attempt to login or by phone.  I do not remember logging in at all, this being the first time I have attempted to do my weekly certification, so I do not suspect that is the issue.  It is probably my fault for not calling sooner.  Or it could be that you have placed a hold on my account due to my lack of check-ins and require me to call and have it reactivated.  Regardless, I need to speak with you on the phone to proceed any further.  Here's where my issues arise.

I began calling the toll free 877 number listed in your help documents at 8 AM Monday morning.  I received a message saying you could not take my call due to an extremely high call volume.  It seemed kind of silly not to even allow people to sit on hold but I gave you the benefit of the doubt.  It was early morning on a regular weekly check-in day and I suspected you were quite busy.  Calling numerous times throughout the day yielded the same message.  My last call that day was somewhere between 4 PM and 5 PM.  I made many more attempts the next day, all resulting in the same "We cannot take your call" message.

I scoured your website and found a local Nashville number, which routed to the same message I had been receiving, and a number for weekly phone check-ins.  This was surprising seeing as how I attributed your high call volume to the normal weekly check-ins.  Learning that it was a separate, automated number was unexpected.  I also found a fax number which I found amusing.  First, because it's 2012, and second, because I find it hard to believe that someone contacting the unemployment office would have ready access to a fax machine.  I proceeded to call the weekly check-in line, entered my social security number, and was told I was ineligible to use that number and needed to call their help center.

Hilariously, that was the same number I was originally calling.

I tried numerous times that day with my final attempt coming once again somewhere between 4 PM and 5 PM.  I once again attempted to call today and received the same message.  I eventually looked up the number for the local labor and workforce development office and phoned them.  The ultra-personable lady who answered the phone informed me that they had nothing to do with weekly check-ins and directed me to, say it with me now, the SAME DAMN PHONE NUMBER.

So, Tennessee Unemployment Office, after mentally berating myself for weeks, trying to reconcile the idea of an intelligent man in his mid-twenties with a computer degree, 5 years of applicable experience, and 3 years of management experience from a previous job somehow needing unemployment assistance, I decided to seek your help.  But now I find a seemingly endless loop of pseudo-functioning phone numbers and unreachable employees.  I have cast aside my pride and sense of self-subsistence to reach out for assistance.  Is it necessary to make me beg for it as well?

Humbly and Sincerely,

Andrew Stephenson


Wednesday, May 9, 2012

Marriage Equality

There are many things that I do not understand.  Some of those being complex concepts needing years of intense study to even understand the terminology.  But there are other things I just can't get my brain to grasp.

One of the things most confounding for my brain is the opposition to marriage equality. (Or gay marriage, if you insist on calling it that.  Although, homosexual people don't have gay driver's licenses or gay prescription glasses so calling it gay marriage is a bit silly.)  I honestly cannot think of one reason NOT to support marriage equality.  No one, other than the two individuals actually getting married, would be affected in the slightest.  Not allowing something just because you don't like it is one of the most ignorant and selfish things I can imagine. 

Allowing same-sex marriage doesn't force anyone to engage in a same-sex marriage anymore than allowing smoking forces someone to smoke.  I can understand, but don't agree with, the people who demonize smokers.  Smoking in public affects everyone around.  Same-sex marriage does not.  You can't "catch" gay. 

Allowing same-sex marriage also does not cheapen "traditional" marriage.  Traditional marriage vows have already been cheapened by the actions of husbands and wives for centuries.

I don't want to delve into religion but the VAST majority of opposition that I've heard against marriage equality is rooted, partially if not entirely, in religious beliefs.  Basing laws on a particular religion is not only narrow-minded but also illegal.

And the argument that it's "gross" or "unnatural" is just stupid.  First, denying a gay man the ability to marry his partner doesn't make him question his sexual orientation.  He will still be gay, but not allowed to make the same public commitment his straight friends can.  Second, homosexuality has been around as long as humans have, maybe longer.  To call it unnatural is ignorant and would be akin to calling red hair unnatural just because it's not as prevalent as blonde hair.  Third, universally banning something because a minority find it unappealing is insane.  By that rationale I would like to ban mayonnaise because it is both gross and unnatural.  Screw you and your turkey sandwich, I think mayo is gross and I can't get plenty of people to vote with me on that.

North Carolina passed a disgusting amendment yesterday.  One that says some residents of their state are entitled to more basic human rights than others.  I don't even pretend to understand what it's like to be denied a human right based on a prejudice.  I'm a heterosexual, white male in the United States.  The world is built in my favor.  But I seethe when I hear of human rights and freedoms being selectively distributed.  
President Obama spoke out today in support of marriage equality and is getting lots of reaction from both camps.  I'm glad he made his view public but I do think it's ridiculous that it's such a big story when our president reveals he's not a bigoted asshole about something.

Contrary to how North Carolinians voted, gay Americans are actual humans who deserve actual human rights.  Do we support rights for all American humans or do our rights change based on our zip code?

Tuesday, May 1, 2012

Lost

Being unemployed has caused its fair share of complications.  But not the ones I was initially worried about.

Money's not tight, yet.  I'm not going stir crazy (my wife may beg to differ).  And the "worthless, unemployed loser" has subsided, a bit.

The scariest part about being unemployed is I'm almost enjoying it.  I knew I was unhappy in my previous position but I am starting to realize the mental toll it was taking on my life.  My stress level had gotten so high that I don't think I ever came down.  I would spend all day Saturday gradually coming down from the never-ending drama of the work week, never fully letting it go.  And I would spend all Sunday ratcheting the stress level back up by worrying about things I needed to do in the coming week.  And of course bringing work stress home with you is great for the whole household.  I never found a way to give my brain a break.  Rinse and repeat for four years and you get my mental state, as of a month ago.

I spent the first week of unemployment relaxing with my family.  It was my son's spring break from school so I made a conscious effort to focus on family and leave the job hunt alone until the following week.  It worked for a few days.  I ended up applying for several jobs late that Friday under the guise that my resume would be waiting for the companies on Monday morning.

I got a response from an application for a job which listed qualifications a bit over my head.  But I was excited.  How great would it be to find a new job before I received my final paycheck from my previous job?  Alas, this "job opportunity" turned out to be a staffing firm just wanting to get my information into their system.  If the meeting had been presented as such I would not have hesitated  to meet.  But the correspondence was worded as though I was in consideration for this particular position.  It was disappointing, to say the least.  Nevertheless, the gentleman was incredibly personable and helpful, giving many suggestions about my resume.

I have since sent my resume to several more places and have made it through a phone interview and one in-person interview with one place.  This company looks to be an ideal situation for me.  Work smart, play hard.  Is there a better motto than that? 

(Update:  Since writing the draft for this post I received a response from this company.  Alas, I am apparently not what they are looking for at this time.  That really hurts.  I just wish I knew more about why.  Was is something I said?  Or didn't say?  Do I not have the needed skills?  Was I too reserved?  Did I come on too strong?  I have replayed the entire interview in my head dozens of times and still can't pinpoint the problem.  I think this is how insanity begins.)

I'm struggling with my reaction to unemployed life.  Weirdly, the emotion I feel most is guilt.  For some reason I feel guilty that I'm not going insane.  And I don't really understand that.

I filled out all the paperwork for unemployment benefits.  All that's left is for me to check in every Monday to get the money.  That was three weeks ago.  I can't bring myself to do it.  I have paid into the fund through my taxes for almost ten years.  Why is it so hard for me to take money to which, by all legal accounts, I am entitled?  It just feels dishonest to me.  Unemployment payments should be for people struggling to feed, clothe, and shelter their family.  I'm not there yet.  To take money without really needing just feels like stealing.  Add to this my feeling that taking something out of availability rather than necessity is what's killing humanity, and it makes it virtually impossible for me to accept unemployment benefits.

So I carry on, seeking my next employment opportunity, still trying to decide what I want to do with my life.  I do not doubt my abilities.  But I'm beginning to lose confidence in my professional focus.  I want to do so many different things that I'm finding it incredibly difficult to look for jobs.  I spend more time staring at a search prompt, trying to decide what phrase to use, than I do looking at actual job descriptions. 

I'm in my late twenties.  I'm supposed to at least have my career field narrowed down by now, right?  I just want to go to work, feel like I'm contributing to society, and come home to my family.  I don't want fortune and stock options.  I don't seek titles and power. 

I don't have a happy, concise ending to this rant.  And I have no idea if it even makes any sense.  But I guess that's the perfect metaphor for my life.