Friday, February 10, 2012

My Kid is Broken?

I don't have a fancy article as a trigger for this rant.  I just have the ridiculous situation surrounding my son's education.

My son is not an "easy" child.  He asks insane questions, is obsessed with LEGO and science fiction, and constantly questions authority figures' motives.  None of these are bad things.  He also comes out with spurts of simplistic brilliance.

In a discussion about the oil spills in the Gulf of Mexico and the Exxon Valdez, the following exchange occurs:


My son:  "If oil is so bad, why do we still use it?"
      Me:  "We need it to power cars and lawn mowers and a thousand other things."
My son:  "Why don't we just make those things use something other than oil?"


I don't have a legitimate answer for this.  I could go into the manufacturing costs for electric cars, the mileage limits of purely electric cars, or the belief that car manufacturers themselves are half-assing the effort in an attempt to appease the oil companies.  But none of those strike me as valid excuses.

Rather than accepting the parameters of the problem, he seeks to change the variables in search of a real solution.  In two sentences, my son has questioned the motives behind one of the biggest future problems our country is facing.  He has a way of stripping away superfluous information and seeing the core issue.  He is never satisfied with accepting excuses.  And I LOVE him for it.

The best piece of advice I have ever received came from my father when I was not much older than my son is right now.  He said "Believe whatever you want.  But believe it because YOU believe it.  Not because of what someone else said."  I can't think of a better piece of advice for a young man.  Except maybe "If you get her pregnant, you better love her", which my father also said.  My father's soundbites strike me as something a taller, less green, slightly younger Yoda would say to his son.  Full of wisdom with enough edge to make you remember.

I try to teach my son the same principles.  However, when he gets stuck with an aging teacher, burnt-out on years of 8 year-olds, intent on forcing her students into the neat little mold she deems acceptable, he naturally struggles against it.  And he is consequently treated like he's damaged or broken.

His desire to seek the core truths has been stifled because it's seen as being disruptive.  Asking numerous questions DIRECTLY relating to the subject material is apparently disruptive behavior now.  And forget about trying to talk to a classmate about the current assignment.  There will be absolutely no collaboration in this "learning" environment.

His love of reading books several levels above him has been all but destroyed by daily, forced reading of books well below his level.  It's the same concept as telling an ice cream lover that they are now required to eat ice cream everyday.  No matter what you love, if that behavior becomes a requirement then it loses all appeal.

(By the way, his class goes to the library one day every three weeks.  We have plenty of books at home but what about the kids who don't?  Or the kids who are struggling to reach their grade level?  Making them wait three weeks between class visits to a library is insanity.  It's the same three week rotation with music and art classes.  Music, art, and literature are what make us human.  But they have been all but abandoned as priorities in American public schools.)

His emotional responses to what he sees as injustice are regarded as overly-aggressive, inflammatory behavior. When he is reprimanded in front of the class for something as innocuous as tapping his pencil while doing his work (WHILE DOING HIS WORK) he tries to explain his actions.  Which is then seen as questioning authority and deserving of a second, public reprimand.

He cannot physically comprehend bullshit.  This is his greatest asset and weakness.  That being said, I am not worried about my son.

I'm worried about the people around him.  He is an engaging, passionate, awe-inspiring human with a laser beam focus toward whatever his current obsession may be.  And he's seven years old.  If he can maintain this mindset while adding experience, education, and maturity then he will be an outstanding adult.  But if his creativity and desire to learn are sabotaged by misguided attempts to herd him into more "acceptable" behaviors and interests then society will have destroyed another brilliant mind.

My son is not a colt who needs to be broken before he can reach his full potential.  He is a sapling who needs firm foundation and support as well as plenty of room to grow in any way he chooses fit.

I love my son.  He's not damaged or broken.  He is a real human with real human desires and emotions.  And I hope he can stay that way.