Saturday, October 31, 2009

Fluff

My wife has been telling me for quite a while that if I don't find a way to get all of my thoughts out of my head then I'm going to have a massive heart attack.  With that joyous though in mind, I set out to join the ranks of the blogging universe.

And within fifteen minutes I had given up.

There are entirely too many options for a regular guy to pour his heart out for all the world to see.  And for every blogging site there seems to be nine different membership options.  One gives you mobile access, another gives you some rad layouts, but all I want is a place to speak my piece about anything and everything.  I had quickly become completely disillusioned with the entire concept.

But boredom can move mountains just as well as love or money can.  With new-found focus (no word yet on whether it was me seeking to find my journalistic voice or just trying to not fall asleep at work) I set out to find some small corner of digital pasture to lay on my back, stare at the universe, and spout my opinions like they're gospel.



But where to start?  I have so many things that I'm right about and no one else has been told they're wrong.  

In a nutshell, this is essentially how my mind was working while trying to think of a topic for my first blog.  But then I had to look up how to spell pasture, instead of Pasteur, so I quickly abandoned my arrogance.

Instead, I decided to just start writing and see where my fingers took me.  So much for that.  While driving my wife and son to a fall festival last night we were violently rear-ended by a drunk driver.  So violently in fact that we travelled another 40 or 50 yards while my foot was on the brake and promptly added the car in front of us to the fun.  At this point, I will be completely honest.  My wife has been making fun of me since the incident because apparently I screamed like a little girl two or three times.  I can vaguely remember it.  I do remember being completely disoriented.  We were in stop and go traffic, going no more than 30 or 35 MPH, I have slammed on my brakes after the impact, and we're not slowing down at all.  That feeling of complete hopelessness to help your family or yourself is one that I certainly don't wish to feel again. 

The worthless excuse for a human being that hit us doesn't even realize what has happened.  We are all getting out of the car.  I'm obviously a little shaken up and throw the car in park and leave it running.  We see smoke coming from the car that is lodged underneath my rear bumper and all I can think about is getting my family away from this ticking time bomb.  Now I love the safety features of my car but I did not realize that the back doors cannot be opened while the car is still on.  So I'm back by my son's door trying several times to get it open before I realize what's going on.  And the whole time, the waste of flesh that hit us STILL HAS HIS FOOT ON THE GAS!  Finally, with my wife and I screaming at him to turn off his car, he stumbles his drunken ass out of the car only to promptly fall down. 

At first I couldn't tell whether he was drunk or just had a limp.  That question was quickly answered as soon as he got within ten feet of me.  He was so drunk that all he kept saying was "Are you all right?  Is the baby alright?"  Thinking back on it, I don't think he even said anything else until he got back in his car (more on that in a moment).  I obviously ignored the hell out of him until I knew myself that everything was okay with my family.  My son was screaming and my wife was bawling but I couldn't tell if they were hurt or just really scared.  Once I was sure they were okay I turned to the guy and shouted "They're fine!  Just give me a minute!" 

As soon as he heard that he started stumbling back toward his car.  Immediately the guy from the car in front of us starts yelling "He's running!"  So we both go back to confront the guy.  We start shouting at him to turn off the engine and get out of the car.  I pull out my phone and try to take a picture of his license plate but the picture comes out a bit too dark and I don't have time for a second take (as it turns out later, I didn't hit Save so I never really had the picture anyway).  He tries in his calmest voice to say "I'm just backing up."  He starts trying to back up but doesn't realize he's not in reverse.  My car lurches forward a few inches as he tries to flee from the madness he's so recklessly and obliviously caused.  As soon as he dislodged his car from my back bumper I start screaming at him and all of the cars and people around us that are watching the entire situation.  I'm yelling for him to stop and for everyone else to notice that he's running. 

Out of nowhere, coming the opposite way on the road is a police car about to turn around to help.  I have absolutely no idea what I've done in my life to deserve such good fortune.  If not for that policeman, this piece of trash might still be out there.  As the drunk "driver" starts driving away, I start jogging along beside the car still pointing and screaming.  The police car flips around and shoots down the grass covered median in pursuit of the useless motorist.  Within a few more minutes we have two ambulances, a fire truck, and two more police cars around us.  And by the time they started talking to us they get reports that the pollutant of the gene pool has already been caught.

Thinking back of the whole situation, I have absolutely no idea how I kept from knocking this guy on his ass.  I would like to think it's because I didn't want any charges brought against me but I don't think there's any way that I was thinking that clearly.  I think I was honestly shocked that this guy was going to try to run.  But being a person that sees that world as 90% sheep/willfully ignorant/genuinely ignorant, I don't understand why it was so shocking to me.  (I'm sure I'll get around to writing some long-winded social examination, with my zero years of formal education or experience, sometime soon.)

Until then, let's just say that this guy falls in to one of the lowest categories I can think of.  Not only did he make a horrible decision to drink and then drive, but then he compounds that by driving like an idiot and causing a situation that could have turned out much, much worse.  And on top of that, he has so little respect for other human beings that he takes off running, endangering countless other lives in the process.  I'm sure I'm speaking from a jaded point of view here, but I don't think that any punishment, short of the death penalty (once again, I'm sure you'll see my views on this soon enough), would be too much for this guy.  Taking away his license will do nothing.  If he's going to drive drunk, flee a crime scene, evade arrest, and God knows what else, then how will not having a piece of plastic in his pocket even cross his mind in the future. 

I think this has helped to reaffirm the notion that it doesn't matter what happens on a day to day basis.  It doesn't matter that your son won't stop whining or you got in an argument with your wife.  They are your family and you will do anything for them.  And by family, I mean people that you love and care about.  That may be your biological family or not.  It doesn't matter. 

I started off yesterday looking at things to selfishly spend my money on or ways to spice up my new blog.  I ended last night trying to think of more ways to spend time with my family, personal wants, money, and blog be damned. 

Love your family, and make sure they know it.  Everything else is just fluff.

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