Web/Life Design

It's funny how a person's desires change over time.  Well, not so much funny, I guess. More like, random.  If high-school me could see how late-twenties me is living he would be pretty pissed.

I'm not rich.  I'm not famous.  I haven't written a song in nearly a year.  I work 8-5 and sometimes go to bed before 10 o'clock.  Through the week, I spend more waking hours at work then at home.

But high-school me was a predictably naive idealist.  Late-twenties me is a slightly less naive cynic.  Whatever those words mean.


The desire for worldwide fame and fortune was supplanted by marriage and children.  I may not be internationally renowned for my songwriting but I am easily the most kick-ass daddy that my children have ever known.  And my wife laughs at my terrible jokes.  Even when they are only semi-riotously hilarious.


I miss writing music a great deal.  But I was only good at writing two styles: Whiny, mopey bullshit and self-righteous diatribes.  Don't get me wrong.  I am extremely proud of nearly 37% (!) of the lyrics I have written.  Ironically, it sounds to me like both of these writing styles have meshed into the current hipster "It's cool because it's stupid" movement.  If that's true, then I have a goldmine of terrible lyrics and fashion choices aimed at the post-adolescent angst-stricken crowd with a laser beam focus.


Bedtime.  The bane of adolescents everywhere.  At one point in my life I never wanted to sleep.  Fuck tomorrow.  Tomorrow is tomorrow, after all.  I know it's 3 AM but I need to reorganize my MP3 collection by average combined birth year of artist and producer, immediately.

I've spent a large chunk of time trying to pinpoint the exact moment a human becomes an adult.  It very well may be the first time said human chooses to go to bed early, not because of any impending event, but solely because they don't want to be tired the following day.  That may be the exact moment when childhood dies.


But the only one of those afore mentioned teenage gripes that is ALSO a post-teenage gripe is the time spent at work.

Let's do a bit of math for a typical human.  Alarm set at 5:30, leave for work at 7:30, get back home at 5:30, sleep at 10:30.  That makes 17 waking hours, 10 of which are outside the house.  Multiply this by 50 weeks (allowing for potential vacation time) and we get 150 more annual weekday hours spent away from home then actually at home.  I could go on a rant about the distribution of wealth in contrast to actual hours worked in this country but I'm not feeling very rant-y today.

Today, I feel hopeful that I have found a new professional/life direction.

I have recently discovered a love for web design.  A few months back, I saw the website for a friend's new business.  It wasn't bad, but it wasn't being updated and I didn't think that accurately represented the people involved.  On a whim, I started looking up HTML and CSS tutorials and decided I would make a new website for my friend.  This would be similar to me deciding that I wanted to build an extension on my house made entirely of unobtainium.  I knew so little that I didn't know what I didn't know.

But I am obsessed with learning about interesting things.  Being able to use text to make design elements look, move, and behave according to my desire is an intoxicating feeling.  I'm assuming this is what it feels like when an artist looks upon an empty canvas and wants to make it his own.  I feel completely unencumbered by any preexisting design templates.  If I want a column of ads in the center of the page and two content columns flanking either side I can damn well do it.  I have the technology.

(I used http://www.w3schools.com/ for my foray into web coding.  I have since seen several places that discourage that particular site but most complaints seem to be semantically driven.)

This potential new professional direction has given me fits of unbridled euphoria as well as days of mental turmoil brought on by frustrating design elements.  Anytime you wake up at 5 AM on a Saturday morning with an idea in your head and have 50 lines of code written before anyone else wakes up you know you have become passionate.

I am hoping to harness this passion of the Christ and progress enough in my coding knowledge to land a job, freelance or contract, in web design. Employers like to say that passion for a job and desire to learn are worth more than degrees and test scores.  I aim to prove my worth to potential employers.

Hide yo child nodes!  Hide yo floating elements!  I'm coming for you Internet!

Holiday Musings

From my experience, holidays bring out two conflicting yet complementary emotions in me: Joy at seeing loved ones and an overwhelming desire to be far away from said loved ones.

I love my family.  I just love them from over here.  At my house.

It's the same way I feel about talking on the phone.  I am approximately 93000% more likely to respond to a text message or email than a voicemail.  The ability to say "You know what? You can wait for 6 minutes while I do some important shit." before sending a response is one of the most liberating things that technology has ever done for me (Also, pooping is much more entertaining).  Try that technique on a traditional phone call. "I'm sorry. I am at a critical moment in my research of warp drive mechanics on the Enterprise D. I'm going to need you to shut up for 4-5 minutes so I can comprehend this fake science. Thanks."  See how well that goes with your grandma.

That's exactly how I feel at human gatherings.

I have something I call "Corporate Andy", formerly known as "Blockbuster Andy".  This guy is just a super dude.  He's all about your cat stories and helping you with your newfangled touchscreen phone.  He began out of necessity while at my first job. (I bet you can't guess where it was.)  Putting on the Blockbuster Andy persona allowed me to be a sociable and genuinely likable guy for nearly anyone in any demographic.  It worked very well for selling frivolous things to busy people.  When I changed jobs my corporate persona had to evolve.  I was no longer dealing with the general public.  Corporate Andy became the guy at work that would listen to you explain why that particular sweater was just perfect for your dog while fixing mundane "problems" on your "system".

This is usually the personality I adopt at social events.  Lately, "social events" has turned into anything outside my home.  Once you're adopting artificial personalities on a nearly daily basis one of two things can happen:  1) You can gradually become that person, even when you're alone.  2) The fabric of reality around Fake You begins to crack and the dreaded Real You emerges.  I believe I am in the final stages of scenario 2.

I just don't want to play the game anymore.  You know the game.  Brown-nosing and sexual favors getting the same consideration as intelligence and hard work.  Status quo taking precedence over progress and efficiency.  Showing up to the department's Christmas party on time is more important than showing up to work on time.

This is the machine that has taken control.  I know I sound like an emo teenager right now but at least they give a shit about something.  When you are passionate about something you make stupid decisions in the name of that passion.  When you are trying to keep your desk job you lay low and try not to get noticed.  I feel like I'm in a hidden camera version of Office Space.  The cover of the TPS report is more important than the content.

These emotions start to seep into my after-work moods during the holidays.  The absurdity of everyday human behavior becomes much more visible.  Parents and grandparents fiendishly searching for a hunk of plastic because the TV said it was the hot toy of the year.  Families spending hundreds, if not thousands, of dollars trying to have a better Christmas card than anyone else.  Businesses everywhere trying to be polite and non-offensive while just wanting to say "Merry Christmas", "Happy Hanukkah", "Have a great Kwanzaa", "Hope you have a fantastic Whatever-The-Fuck-It-Is-That-You-Celebrate".

We have become so conditioned that you are either happy or sad, there is no in-between.  I feel like I have to turn on corporate Andy just so people won't ask me why I'm sad.  I'm not sad!  I'm fucking indifferent to the stupid shit coming out of your mouth!  I don't want to talk about the weather, or a fake singing competition on TV, or why you don't much care for the bitch in accounting.

If you have to be fake at work, and you have to be fake around your family, when can you ever be you?

Silence.

I think that's what I crave.

If small-talk and gossip and regurgitated opinions are all there is to offer, can we please just have silence?

Bankers and Imbeciles

I am currently in a overwhelming rage.  I just read this Bloomberg article about bankers' and billionaires' opinions on their tax obligations.

These criminals use shady/borderline-illegal business practices to destroy the financial stability of this country yet it's the protester who is the "imbecile"?

One of the asshats, John A. Allison IV, says "Instead of an attack on the 1 percent, let's call it an attack on the very productive."  I'm not sure of Mr. Allison's daily duties as former CEO of BB&T Corp. but I'm relatively certain it didn't produce anything other than the taste of vomit in the back of my throat.  Calling the wealthiest 1 percent of Americans "very productive" is like calling pimps "investment bankers".  It's nonsensical and masks the reality of the tactics involved in acquiring and maintaining those positions.

No one is upset that these criminals individuals have been successful.  We are upset because many of them destroyed millions of lives in the process and then are given absurd tax incentives and loopholes to ensure they stay wealthy.  In a very basic sense, an extra 2% tax on income over $1,000,000 would be an additional $20,000 and, depending on how this income was acquired, result in a tax rate of 37%.  This would still leave the individual with $630,000.  Meanwhile (again, in a very basic sense not including tax credits or deductions) the single mom paying 15% on her $30,000 salary is left with $25,500.  Tax credits and deductions aside, food, shelter, transportation, and general quality of life become much more uncertain for the individual bringing home $2000/month than the individual bringing home $30,000/month.

This whole scenario is assuming any of the wealthy individual's income was actually considered income.  Capital gains on long-term investments, and several other forms of income, aren't technically counted as income.  The Long-Term Capital Gains tax is currently set at 15% which coincidentally is also the same tax rate the single mom in the previous example, working and earning $8,500-$34,500, is responsible for.  Yeah, that makes sense.

So to insinuate that the lowly hourly workers are just jealous and looking for a handout is arrogant and offensive.

According to a report from the IRS, average household income increased 62% from 1979 through 2007.  I won't list every year's inflation rate but the inflation rates during 1979-1981 were 11.22%, 13.58%, and 10.35%. respectively.  And as anyone with a credit card can tell you, calculating percentages of percentages is messy business.  This is significantly skewed by the fact that income for the top 1% "more than tripled" during this time making the actual number for the remaining 99% a bit lower than the reported 62%.  Factor in inflation, and the old adage of "The rich get richer, and the poor get poorer" doesn't sound too far from the truth.

(Quick math timeout to illustrate the previous comment:

Lets say all of your monthly bills cost you $1000 (if only, right?).  A 10.35% annual inflation rate means that the next year those same bills will cost you $1103.50.  That hurts already.  Most people won't be getting a raise worth $100 extra every month to cover that increase in expenses.  However, if that 10.35% increase came after previous annual increases of 11.22% and 13.58% your bills would have increased from $1000 to $1393.98 in just three years.

Using $1000 in 1979 as a base, and calculating each year's inflation rate on top of the previous year's rate, we see that in 2007 the same bills would cost roughly $3181.84.  An increase of 318%.  And, as stated previously, average household income (even including the top 1%) increased just 62% over this same time period while income for the top 1% alone "more than tripled".  Regardless of the actual number, roughly tripling income would account for the roughly tripling expenses.)



I'll leave you with a few quotes from the unjustly vilified patriots interviewed for the Bloomberg piece.

-When asked about willingness to pay higher tax rates Blackstone Group LP CEO Stephen Schwarzman instead chose to complain about low-income families who pay no income tax saying "...we should all be part of the system".  Classy.

-Robert Rosenkranz, CEO of Delphi Financial Group Inc., claims the 1% should be getting thanks instead of persecution.  He says "It's simply a fact that pretty much all the private-sector jobs in America are created by the decisions of 'the 1 percent' to hire and invest".  So the next time you see a new small business open in your town make sure to thank Robert Rosenkranz.

(No word as of yet on how Mr. Guildenstern feels about the U.S. tax code.)

-CEO of Euro Pacific Capital Inc. Peter Schiff claims his taxes are "more than a medieval lord would have taken from a serf".


Billionaire CEOs: modern-day serfs.

Occupy ALL the Things

I have been silent for quite a while on here.  I've been teaching myself web design (HTML, CSS, Javascript).  The first two went quite well.  The third is more complex and will take a bit more to fully grasp, and then eons more to master.

But I return to my ranting forum for one purpose: the Occupy movement. (I capitalize out of respect)

I have had many political, fiscal, and generational discussions in my life but I don't think I've ever come across a topic that is misunderstood in such a unique way.  The Occupy movement is an outcry from Americans disgusted with their ultra-partisan, auction-block of a government being allowed to bully their citizens (and citizens of other countries as well) and then expect thanks for it.

Many revelations have come to light in the 2+ months since Occupy began.  We see that Congress and the White House still don't seem to take it seriously.  Employees of the banks themselves have nothing but taunts.  ("Get a job." seems to be the most prevalent and misinformed comment.)  We see that police departments are allowed to use any force necessary to move people where they want them.  We have seen 25 year old punk cops use excessive force, and on many occasions pepper spray and tear gas, against war veterans.  Just yesterday I saw a photo of an 84 year old woman who was pepper sprayed in Seattle.  With all due respect, I can't imagine she was much of a physical threat.

But the most disturbing part is that many Americans can't be bothered enough to look past the flashy headlines and see what is actually happening.

If I got all of my information from official police department quotes and the evening news I would think that Occupy was made up entirely of unemployed, slacker college hippies smoking weed and looking for a handout.  This could not be further from the truth.  The Occupy movement is incredibly transparent in their makeup and motives.  People of all ages and backgrounds are part of Occupy.  Jesus, Pete Seeger and Arlo Guthrie showed up in support. (Combined age: 156. Or 2167 depending on how you read the previous sentence.)  Occupy Wall Street had organized a library of an estimated 4000 books.  These books were electronically logged and searchable.  I use the past tense because Billionaire Bloomberg had most of these books, along with any possessions left behind when fleeing officers in riot gear, destroyed while forcing people out of Zuccotti Park.

I find it difficult to focus my thoughts on writing coherent sentences on this subject.  I am so incredibly disgusted by the hypocrisy and uncaring nature of nearly anyone in power in my government.  President Obama and Secretary of State Clinton had nothing but praise for protests in Egypt, as well as other countries involved in the so-called "Arab Spring".  But when our citizens attempt to use identical forms of protest (and much more peacefully might I add) that support is conspicuously absent.

I don't hate money or corporations.  In fact, I quite enjoy the former and have several corporations that I fully support.  But neither should be allowed to influence the votes of our lawmakers.  When debating tougher regulations on investments, environmental issues, even school lunches, the interests of the citizens of this country should ALWAYS come before the interests of the companies involved.

(Warning: From here on out is political and semi-obscenity-laced.)

Can we please stop verbally blowing Ronald Reagan?  His trickle-down plan was horseshit from the start.  If you want to help poor Americans you have two options: 1) Stop taking so much of their money. Or 2) Give them more money.  I'm not big on handing out money so I particularly like option 1.  Notice how neither of those approaches are "Give money to banks, corporations, and the wealthy and they will fix it for us by creating jobs and doing what's best for everyone" because that is ridiculous.  It didn't work then but apparently we are too fucking stupid to learn from the past. (re: two gulf wars)

Bailing out the banks was exactly the same approach as Reagan's trickle-down bullshit.  If you have banks failing and people losing their homes because they can't make their payments you, once again, have two approaches.  (I'm not mentioning that the banks created the problem on their own while government oversight was so feigned that the practices were almost endorsed.)  1) Give money to the banks to ensure they don't fail.  Hope they use this money to pay off some of their own domestic debts and then ease the crunch on their homeowners.  2) Give money to the homeowners themselves.  Have stipulations and restrictions that the money can only be used for mortgage payments.  Give them the option to use that money to make their normal monthly payments or use one lump sum to lower their overall mortgage amount.  People who wanted to keep their homes would probably choose the monthly payment route to ease their monthly financial burden.  People who wanted to sell their homes would probably use the lump sum amount so that the total amount of their mortgage would more closely resemble the actual value of the house, therefore dropping the asking price and making the home more attractive.

Both of the above options end with our government's money in the banking institution's pocket.  But the first way bypasses any regard for the homeowner.  It is completely reliant on the bank making the "right decision" and helping the homeowners they already showed they were willing to screw.  In fact, a good deal of this money went to pay for bonuses for executives and outstanding debts the bank had, many from over-seas lenders.  Meaning, the money that was meant to help homeowners actually went to executives and over-seas lenders.  Meanwhile, our government couldn't even be tasked with tracking where the money actually went.

You're telling me that no one in the entire fucking United States government thought that the banks would look out for themselves rather than the homeowners?  I don't know whether I hope Congress was so inept that they didn't see that possibility or that they allowed it because they were corrupt.  I honestly can't decide which is worse.

Option 2 in the above scenario allows homeowners to keep or sell their houses while easing their entire financial burden.  Having help paying your mortgage means you don't have to feed your kids $.89 hamburgers from McDonald's.  In one move you have helped the money crunch and potentially helped with peripheral issues such as childhood nutrition.  Freeing up money in the household is good for the homeowner and businesses alike.  If all your money is going to your mortgage then you don't have money to spend anywhere else.  And is this scenario the "bailout" money STILL makes its way to the banks for them to use on bonuses and their own debts.

Why was option 2 not an actual option?  Why have the banks not been held accountable for their illegal business practices that brought the entire country to the brink of financial ruin?  Why has Congress not been held accountable for their actions enabling the practices and then cleaning up the mess afterward?  Why are these banks and corporations allowed to manipulate the tax code to minimize, or even eliminate, the need to pay taxes while the average American has no such loopholes?

These questions along with many others including healthcare (How can a government force a citizen to buy a product? Why does Congress get better healthcare for free than their constituents can purchase?), foreign aid/wars (How can we shovel cash at dictators who openly commit acts of violence on their own citizens, and then turn on them and take them down when they show a weakness?), and corporate influence on Washington (see above) are what Occupy is all about.  You can't boil it down to one point that can be bastardized into a Red or Blue argument.  And that really pisses off the opponents of change and the defenders of the status quo.

I'm not talking about the individuals that make up Occupy.  If you go to each person and ask them to name their top three issues they want addressed you will get a myriad of answers spanning every conceivable topic.  Because Occupy is NOT about banding together to occupy Wall Street, or Boston, or any specific thing.  It's about pissed off Americans banding together and telling the U.S. government that the status quo is no longer acceptable.  Occupy doesn't expect Congressmen and businessmen to have epiphanies of the soul and suddenly find the goodness in their heart.  Occupy's success will not be anchored by how many politicians and celebrities join the movement.  Occupy is about having an informed public, conscious of its governments' actions, that is willing to hold elected officials and businesses accountable for their actions.

An ignorant public is an easily manipulated public.  Occupation does not destroy its target.  In its current incarnation, to Occupy something means to observe, illuminate, and become knowledgeable about it.  And knowledge is power.

So, regardless of your financial, political, sexual, generational, or any other affiliation, I say:  Don't Occupy one thing.  Occupy ALL the things.




(image source: http://nycfaultline.com/2011/10/08/occupy-all-the-things/)

American Debt

The United States of America is a country that is head-over-heels in love with debt.

Governmental, business, and personal debt are necessary for nearly everything.  The government borrows money from other countries to uphold fiscal promises it has made to businesses and citizens.  Businesses borrow money from banks and the government (sometimes it's hard to tell the difference, and sometimes there's not one) to purchase product so they can continue to operate.  Citizens borrow money from anyone who will listen for every imaginable expense.

Think of a "middle class" (quotes are necessary because the middle class doesn't actually exist) high-school student looking at his future.  His parents don't make enough money to pay for college but they make too much for him to qualify for grant money. His grades are okay but not stellar.  He starts looking at the cost of schools and sees that he really only has four options.

1) Go to college using a mix of government and personal loans. (Side note: Personal "student loans" are legalized loan sharking)

2) Join the military.  Once he's done spreading democracy/doing Big Brother's dirty work/occupying countries that haven't seen conflict in 70 years/protecting his country (You can pick which one of those you like best.  It's fun.  It's your very own Choose Your Adventure) he can let Uncle Sam pay for his college.

3) Magically find a job, with zero higher education or experience, that will pay for his college education.

4) Don't go to college.

If you've read my post on college, you know how I feel about that racket.  But realistically, your chances of being financially successful without some form of college education are pretty slim.

This kid chooses option number one.  While he is attending school he meets a lady friend and gets married.  Now, he doesn't want to start his new life by living with his parents, so they begin looking at apartments and houses.  House payments are less than rent payments so they buy a nice little home to start their family.  Between the mortgage and school loans he's now sitting at $150,000 (quite conservative for certain areas of the country) in debt...at 22 years old.

You know the story from here.  Money gets tight, credit cards become a necessity, and no matter how much they pay the debt never quite seems to get any smaller.  Notice how I haven't mentioned his wife's potential debt or any children.  It's out of hand enough without that.

This is American culture.  This is the American way.  This is the American Dream.

And when the government as a whole starts trying to help everyone accomplish their own American Dream, it becomes disastrous.

We (You included. Congressmen/women are elected. They even let ladies vote now. It's a new thing they're trying) have gotten ourselves into our very own Kobayashi Maru situation.  There is physically no possible solution that will allow us to continue our current borrowing/spending, uphold our current financial obligations, and maintain our current income.  Improvements MUST be made on all three fronts.  Bickering with your millionaire colleagues over minor tribbles quibbles helps no one.

Borrowing/Spending

This will have to be the main focus.

• Foreign aid has to be reigned in.  More spending does not equal more help.  Analyze where the money goes. Cut the middlemen or cut the program. 
• Unemployment benefits simply cannot last for 112 weeks. (I may be wrong on that number. It may actually be higher) If they're unemployed for that long then something other than their resume is suspect.  I don't want to see anyone lose their belongings, but handing someone money for over two years enables fiscal irresponsibility and puts the financial burden on other Americans. I am not demonizing the citizen here.  If you can collect unemployment, and use that money to pay your bills for two years, why would you want to get a job?
• The security theater that is the TSA has to be stopped.  Feeling up a six year old girl does nothing to keep me safe.  And spending millions upon millions of dollars for machines to take pictures of her naughty bits while her clothes are still on is insane. 
• Governmental salaries/pensions need serious cuts.  
• A simple version? 5% budget reduction for EVERY government program to start.  Then reevaluate from there. 

Financial Obligations

• Are we seriously still planning universal healthcare?  Does anyone honestly want to give more responsibilities to the assclowns in Washington right now?
• Corporate tax incentives are completely out-of-hand.  GE is in the 35% tax bracket.  They made $14.2 billion in profit last year.  Not income, pure profit.  They paid as much taxes as my cat did. (Just for giggles, 35% of $14.2 billion is $4.97 billion.  GE cheated the American taxpayers out of nearly $5 billion.)

Income

• Can we please stop pretending that illegal immigration is something that can be stopped?  The only way to stop someone from trying to make a better life for themselves/their family by coming into our country is to shoot them in the head.  Many people actually suggest that.  Would you stop breaking another country's ill-conceived and selectively-policed law if you thought that doing so would provide a better life for your children?  Of course not.  Personally, I think having Americans line the border and fart at people trying to come over would be more effective than our current tactics.  Illegal immigrants are here working, driving, getting healthcare, and doing everything else that other humans do.  Can we please give them a simple way to become an American citizen so they can start paying their share?
• Bonus Round: The above suggestion would also provide a huge, giant, gargantuan new source of income for Social Security, Medicare, AND Medicaid which would in turn mean we would need less cuts for those programs. 
• I previously mentioned GE and the tax code.  A huge chunk of their income was reported as overseas income.  We cannot compete with labor costs in other readily-exploitable countries.  When companies move jobs offshore they save on labor and taxes and America is left with fewer jobs and tax revenue.  I don't have an incredibly insightful suggestion here because, quite frankly, I don't have the time or intelligence to piece together just what the hell our tax code says.  I just wanted to mention that our current tax code REWARDS companies TWICE for moving jobs out of the country. 

Some of these suggestions may be completely unfeasible, or mildly insane.  But are they really any worse than the ideas our elected officials get paid to tell us we want?