With respect to jobs, I always hear "Do what you love and you'll never work a day in your life." That would be great if someone would pay me to play music, or stare at boobs, or read comic books, or play video games with my son, or eat buffalo chicken. But I don't see anyone offering me jobs in those fields right now. (I'm holding out for a cross-over. Maybe boobs covered in buffalo sauce? Or playing music with my son? Or just the boobs?)
Why is it accepted that you're going to hate your job? Including drive-time I spend roughly 50 hours per week dedicated to my job. Quick math lets me know that I waste 2600 hours per year doing something I don't enjoy. Why is this normal? Does anyone start college wanting to be phone support? Or an accountant? Or middle management? No. You get stuck there.
I don't mean to sound like a whiny teenager but my family is the only thing I'm remotely happy with right now.
But that's all that matters. Right? Well, kind of. Loving my family doesn't help me feed/clothe/bathe/spoil them. And it sure as hell doesn't make me hate the job any less.
But loving your family should make all the bad things worth it. Well, then I must be broken. I love my family, and I will do anything for them, but it does not make everything worthwhile. I'm not okay with wasting any intelligence/talent/initiative that I have for a paycheck that almost pays the bills. Just so I can turn around and give every bit of that money to multi-billion dollar companies.
I have always adhered to the philosophy of "don't sacrifice today for what might happen tomorrow". Doesn't that also apply to me? If I throw away my dreams and desires and put on my Corporate Andy hat just so I can put food on the table, am I not doing that same thing? If children are our future does that mean that our future is over?
I'm struggling with how to feel about how I feel.
Am I a selfish bastard for bitching when I actually have a job and three other human beings dependent on me? Or am I an idiot for basically giving up on my dreams at 25?
I have no idea.
Why is it accepted that you're going to hate your job? Including drive-time I spend roughly 50 hours per week dedicated to my job. Quick math lets me know that I waste 2600 hours per year doing something I don't enjoy. Why is this normal? Does anyone start college wanting to be phone support? Or an accountant? Or middle management? No. You get stuck there.
I don't mean to sound like a whiny teenager but my family is the only thing I'm remotely happy with right now.
But that's all that matters. Right? Well, kind of. Loving my family doesn't help me feed/clothe/bathe/spoil them. And it sure as hell doesn't make me hate the job any less.
But loving your family should make all the bad things worth it. Well, then I must be broken. I love my family, and I will do anything for them, but it does not make everything worthwhile. I'm not okay with wasting any intelligence/talent/initiative that I have for a paycheck that almost pays the bills. Just so I can turn around and give every bit of that money to multi-billion dollar companies.
I have always adhered to the philosophy of "don't sacrifice today for what might happen tomorrow". Doesn't that also apply to me? If I throw away my dreams and desires and put on my Corporate Andy hat just so I can put food on the table, am I not doing that same thing? If children are our future does that mean that our future is over?
I'm struggling with how to feel about how I feel.
Am I a selfish bastard for bitching when I actually have a job and three other human beings dependent on me? Or am I an idiot for basically giving up on my dreams at 25?
I have no idea.
Ah, the familiar predicament. Life is two things: the all consuming quest for truth and nirvana, and the unavoidable sacrifice for survival. Lives are lived in the mind and whatever justification perceived, is.
ReplyDeleteDreams or goals? Sacrifice or means? The endless mindfuck of idealistic desire and the mundane profane will inevitably induce insanity-or a budding politician. And throughout it all, we still have boobs.